Want to find something funny about plumbing? From the classic “Why was the plumber upset? He was having a bad pipe day” to the clever “How do plumbers make coffee? With a pipe wrench”, we have a plumbing joke for every occasion.
Plumbing is a vital profession, ensuring that our homes and buildings have a steady and efficient flow of water, and the jokes on our website are not meant to belittle or demean plumbers or the work they do. It’s a way of making light of certain aspects of their profession and sharing a laugh. We hope that these jokes and puns will not only bring a smile to your face but also raise appreciation for the work of plumbers.
Our site is updated regularly with new and hilarious plumbing jokes, so be sure to check back often for a fresh batch of puns. In the meantime, feel free to browse through our collection and share your favorites with your friends and family. And remember, when life gives you plumbing jokes, don’t leak them.
But don’t just take our word for it, dive in and have a look around! We’re sure you’ll find something that tickles your funny bone and make you feel good.
What vegetables do plumbers hate most?
Leeks.
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Why shouldn’t you play poker with a plumber?
A good flush beats a full house every time.
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What do plumbers, garbagemen, and economists all have in common?
They all deal with gross domestic product.
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What would a plumber like for their birthday?
A pipe cleaning
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I had to give up my job as a plumber.
It was just too draining.
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Why was the tap dancer’s sink not working properly?
Because the sink was clog-ged.
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How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
Ask them to pronounce unionized.
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What do Doctors and Plumbers have in common?
They both bury their mistakes.
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How did the plumber feel when he gave blood?
Drained.
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What do plumbers have when they fall asleep?
Pipe dreams
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First thing this morning there was a tap on my door.
My plumber has a funny sense of humor.
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What do plumbers always say to customers?
Each time you flush a toilet, you put food in my family’s mouth.
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How many plumbers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One to get the beer and one to call the electrician.
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Why was the plumber depressed?
His career was going down the toilet.
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What is the most disgusting thing you can see while a plumber is plumbing?
A plumber about to bite his nails.
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How are a bodybuilder and a plumber alike?
They both love pumping iron.
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What do plumbers, garbage men, and economists all have in common?
They all deal with gross domestic product.
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What’s the main difference between an electrician and a plumber?
An electrician washes his hands AFTER he has gone potty, but a plumber washes his hands BEFORE he goes potty.
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What makes a plumber smile any time of day?
Overtime pay.
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What kind of movies do teenage plumbers like to watch?
They love watching plumbing-of-age movies.
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A plumber is the only guy I know who can take a leak and fix one too.
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My grandfather was a plumber, and my dad and brother are plumbers.
So if you see me with plumber’s crack, just know it’s in my jeans.
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How does a plumber break the ice?
Butt crack a joke.
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Did you hear about the Jedi who gave up all his training to become a plumber?
He went over to the Darkside of the faucet.
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What did one toilet say to the other?
You look flushed.
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Why do ducks make bad plumbers?
Because they leave your waterfowl, the bill is always on the front end, and they have excessive plumber’s quack.
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Why’d the plumber retire early?
He was flushed with success.
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Where do plumbers keep all their stuff?
They keep them in the water closet.
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What do Italian Plumbers use to contact the dead?
A Luigi board.
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Did you hear about the depressed plumber?
He’s going through a lot of crap right now.
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Who turns his head before crying?
Tap
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What do plumbers have when they fall asleep?
Pipe dreams.
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Why was the plumber tired after a day’s work?
Because the work had been too draining
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What did the plumber say to the lady when he was standing in front of her sink?
I am at your disposal.
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My mom had plumbers stop at the house to fix the drain. They made so much noise.
She told ’em to pipe down.
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How does a plumber make money in a casino?
Playing craps.
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Why did the plumber fall asleep on the job?
His work was draining.
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Why did the walrus become a plumber?
Cause he loves a tight seal.
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Why did the shoe store call a plumber?
Because they had a clog in their drain.
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Why do all men want to be plumbers?
Because all they think about is layin dat pipe.
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I used to be a plumber, but now I’m a missionary.
I bless the drains down in Africa.
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How does a plumber capture his enemies?
He used the p-trap to capture the enemies.
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Why was the inexperienced plumber in the washroom with a scissor? Because he was told to cut off the water.
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Did you hear that someone broke into the Police Station and stole all the toilets?
Right now, the cops have nothing to go on.
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How do plumbers get out of fights?
They tap out.
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What do you call a person who picks plums?
A plumber.
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How does a plumber select an apprentice?
He selects the one who has a pipe dream.
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Why do plumbers wear green suspenders?
To keep their pants up. Why else?
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What kind of stalls would plumbers open at a fair?
They would always open shower stalls.
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What did the plumber find in Superman’s bathroom?
A Superbowl.
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Why did the plumber always carry a few wrenches to work?
Because they were known to turn heads.
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Why do Scotsmen never call a plumber?
Because they are pipers themselves.
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Why would the plumber always insist on fitting new toilets personally? Because he always wanted to go where nobody else has ever gone before.
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Why don’t snowboarders make good plumbers?
Because they only know about half pipes.
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Plumbing is the only profession where you’ll hear your boss say, “Be sure your ‘joints’ have lots of ‘Dope’ in them.”
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I used to be a plumber.
But then all of my confidence went down the drain
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Why was the plumber irritated with the client?
Because the client was throwing all his ideas down the drain.
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Why are plumbers so bad at submission moves?
Because they are good at making the tap.
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What can make an atheist believe in God?
Finding a plumber on a Sunday to fix the plumbing of the full house.
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Why was the wrestler so good at plumbing?
He was known for dropping pipe bombs.
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Why are plumbers addicted to tobacco?
Perhaps, because they have an easy supply of pipes.
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What rocks while it flushes?
A rocking chair toilet.
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Which event in the DC Comic’s universe was dedicated to plumbers? It was the Flush Point Paradox.
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Why were the police trying to catch the plumber? Because he had broken the International Plumbing Code.
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What does a plumber say in a library?
Pipe Down
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What do you call a room full of cynical plumbers?
A skeptic tank.
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What do you get when you cross a golfer and a plumber?
A putt crack.
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A plumber was called in to fix a leaky pipe in the library toilet.
As he worked, he made too much noise, so the librarian asked him to pipe down.
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My son wants to be a plumber when he grows up.
I told him that’s a pipe dream.
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Why did the three plumbers walk into a restaurant?
This was because there was a hazard sign.
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What do you call a bathroom superhero (or superheroine)?
Flush Gordon.
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Why are plumbers so good at being friends with the pipes?
Because they are electrically bonded.
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Why shouldn’t we ever ask a plumber about the pipes?
Because they might mis-lead us.
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What do you get when you cross a plumber with a jeweller?
A ring around the bathtub
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What’s a plumber’s favourite holiday?
Sinko De Mayo.
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A plumber fixes a damaged pipe in a doctor’s house and asks for $300.
Doctor: “Even I don’t make so much money in such a short period. And I’m a doctor.” Plumber: “I know, sir. I used to be a doctor myself.”
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Why are plumbers always tired while working?
Because they get exhaust-head easily
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How do you fix a stuck tap?
You faucet.
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Why does the United Kingdom need so many plumbers? This is because they are surrounded by water.
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As a plumber’s assistant, I’m always being ordered around… “Stop that dripping, plug that leak, for God’s sake… turn off the water works.”
It’s not my fault, I’m just an emotional guy.
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A man at a train stop shows off pictures of his three sons to a friend.
Friend: “What do your boys do for a living?” Father: “Well, my youngest is a neurosurgeon and my middle is a lawyer.” Friend: “What does the oldest do?” Father: “He’s the plumber that put them through school.”
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Which animals are great at clearing out clogged sewers?
They are sewer alligators.
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Television is like the invention of indoor plumbing. It didn’t change people’s habits. It just kept them inside the house.
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What was it that the plumber found in the NFL player’s restroom?
He found a Superbowl.
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How are bodybuilders and plumbers alike?
They both love pumping iron.
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What is the musical instrument that plumbers can play?
Plumbers can play the pipe very well.
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A doctor calls his local plumber late at night to fix a clogged sink.
The plumber complains and says he has regular hours, but the doctor persists. The doctor says, “I get called into work late all the time, so you can too.” The plumber gives in and arrives a half-hour later. Upon arriving, the plumber looks at the sink but is clearly uninterested. He hands the doctor two aspirin and says, “I have a golf match to get to. Take two and call me in the morning.”
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Why did the teacher call the plumber to school?
He was called to pipe the class that was being noisy
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Why did the plumber get arrested?
Plumber’s crack.
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A plumber wakes up and goes to the bathroom.
After doing his business he stands up, turns around, and says, “See ya at work.”
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Why was the plumber not liked by his neighbours? Because he had a reputation of being a potty-mouth.
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A group of plumbers is called a flood of plumbers.
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The plumber found a blunt in my faucet today.
No wonder my water bills are so high.
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How do you tell the difference between a seamstress and a plumber?
Ask them to pronounce the word “sewer”.
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What is the main plumbing issue that Eskimos face in their igloos?
They have the problem of frozen pipes
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Plumber
What do plumbers use to cut pipe?
A plumber-cutter!
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Why was the plumber’s nose wet?
Because he was using a leaky faucet!
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Why couldn’t the plumber play music?
Because he had too many flats!
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What did the plumber say when he found gold in the pipes?
“I’ve struck plumbing!”
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What did the plumber say when he saw a swarm of flies?
“Looks like we’ve got a leaky septic tank!”
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Why did the plumber go bankrupt?
Because he had too many plumbing issues!
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What did the plumber say when he saw a ghost?
“Don’t worry, it’s just a pipe haunting.”
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Why was the plumber’s office always cold?
Because it was full of drafty pipes!
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Why was the plumber’s car always dirty?
Because it was full of mud and pipe!
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Why did the plumber wear glasses?
Because he couldn’t pipe-see!
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Why was the plumber’s calculator always wet?
Because he used it in the shower!
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What did the plumber say when he saw a dinosaur?
“That’s one big pipe!”
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Why was the plumber’s cat always wet?
Because it kept falling into the toilet!
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Why was the plumber’s dog always dirty?
Because it kept digging up pipes!
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Why did the plumber’s phone always have water in it?
Because he kept dropping it in the sink!
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Why did the plumber’s computer always crash?
Because it had a virus called “plumbing malware”!
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Why was the plumber’s car always in the shop?
Because it had a lot of pipe problems!
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Why did the plumber’s business fail?
Because he had too many drains and not enough income!
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Why did the plumber’s wife leave him?
Because he was always talking about pipes and drains!
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Why did the plumber’s girlfriend break up with him?
Because he was always flushing their relationship down the toilet!
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Why was the plumber’s house always cold?
Because he had a leaky radiator!
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Why did the plumber’s kids hate bath time?
Because they always got washed down the drain!
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Why did the plumber’s mother-in-law always complain?
Because she was always getting the cold shoulder from the pipes!
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Why did the plumber’s father-in-law always criticize him?
Because he thought the plumber was a drain on society!
Funny Plumber Puns
Plumbers from all over the world were going to California. It was a classic case of the Gold Flush.
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These awesome puns on plumbing will always get you to laugh wherever you are. These also include some water puns.
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I knew an Australian plumber in our neighborhood who when faced with a difficult challenge would always say, “Nah mate, I conduit.”
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The plumber was offered the role of a submarine captain. This was because he was good at sink-ing things.
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In the local police station, a thief stole all the toilets. Now, the cops have nothing that they can go on.
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Whenever a plumber visits a house where he has to take off his shoes, he starts to unclog.
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When the underdog won the competition to determine the best plumber, it came as a massive shock to the cistern.
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The plumber was called by the local authorities to fix the road damaged by the flush floods.
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Almost all the plumbers I have come across are overweight. This is because they are plump-being.
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The plumber had come to fix my water problem in the kitchen. He told me not to worry because it was all water under the fridge.
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Plumbers have a great eye for picking the best tea. They always pick the first flush.
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In the middle of the hurricane, because of a lack of proper equipment, the surgeon used a sterilized plumbing tool to operate. It really was a gut-wrenching experience.
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I knew a plumber who took his work very seriously. He would always plunge into it.
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The plumbers were protesting for better pay. One of their slogans read, “If it weren’t for us, you all would have nowhere to go.”
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When the plumber had a near-death experience, he almost saw his entire life flush before his eyes.
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The plumber was seriously injured when he took part in the war. Upon further inspection, the doctor said that it was just a flush wound.
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There is a movie that plumbers love to see whenever they have a chance. It is called the ‘Drain Man’.
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My plumber dad used to have a saying for his customers, “Every time you flush, it results in food in my family ‘s mouth.”
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The out-of-work plumber started growing onions. Very soon, his onion patch was leeking.
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When plumbers use their computers, their favorite program on the pc is the Adobe Flush Player.
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The two plumbers got into a massive argument regarding the boiler. Things got very heated between them.
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After many tries, I finally called the plumber to replace my faucet because I couldn’t get a handle on it.
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I was surprised by the new tagline at the plumbing shop next to my shop. It simply said, “You can flush the rest because we are the best.”
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The plumber was sad as the pandemic had caused his business to go down the toilet.
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When the plumbers faced off in a competition, the announcer exclaimed, “Something is about to go down over here.”
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All the intelligent people in the community were turning to plumbing work for themselves. Well, it was a great example of a brain drain.
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When the plumber had an argument with the lady regarding the sewage works of the client’s house, the plumber angrily exclaimed, “I am going to sewer, I am.”
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Even after spending a fortune on my house’s plumbing, it still wasn’t fixed. Guess all my money went down the drain.
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When the basement flooded and we called the plumber, he curtly said that he couldn’t come, but he had put us on the wading list.
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