We have a few orphan jokes here for you to enjoy. We mean no offense by them and they are just for some light entertainment.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
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Why are Orphans so bad at dodgeball
Because no one misses them
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I made a website for orphans.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
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What part is usually missing in an orphan’s computer system?
Motherboard.
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What do you call an 18-year-old orphan?
Homeless.
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If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
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What kind of flour do you buy an orphan?
Self raising flour.
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Why can’t orphans learn about Ancient Egypt?
Because they won’t know what a mummy is.
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Why did the orphan go to church?
So he had someone to call Father
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Why are orphans unable to work at S.C Johnson?
Because it’s a family business.
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Why aren’t orphan jokes funny?
Because the punchline isn’t apparent.
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Today I saw a little boy wearing rags sitting on a curb.
I said, “Awww, are you an orphan”?
He said, “Yes, what gave me away?”
I said, “Your parents.
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What do blind kids and orphans have in common
Neither of them can see their parents.
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Why do orphans love boomerangs?
Because they come back.
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What’s an orphan’s favourite event?
Homecoming.
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How are apples and orphans different?
Apples get picked
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What is the difference between a prince, a bald headed man, a monkey and an orphan?
The first is an heir apparent, the second has no apparent hair, the third has hairy parent and the last has nary a parent.
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Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house is.
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Judge: We shall now sentence you for the murder of your parents.
Accused: Please consider a lenient sentence, your honour.
Judge: But why?
Accused: Because I’m an orphan.
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Who isn’t allowed to watch PG movies?
Orphans.
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Why don’t orphans play the game of hide-and-seek?
They won’t be found because no one will look for them.
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What is an orphan’s favorite beer?
Fosters.
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Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan?
Because it has no home button.
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Why do orphans play GTA?
So they can be wanted.
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Being an orphan isn’t all bad. On the bright side, all your snacks are family sized.
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Knock, knock.
Orphan: Who’s there?
Not your parents.
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What show does an orphan hate?
Family Guy.
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Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?
Parent Signature: _______
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What does an orphan call a family photo?
A selfie
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What’s the difference between a parentless child and someone who is fond of unprocessed metals?
One is an orphan and the other is an ore fan.
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New Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.
Students: OOF
Teacher: Is anyone missing.
Students: Your Parents
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Why was the orphan so successful?
When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
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What’s a orphans favorite movie
Home alone
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What did one orphan say to the other?
Quick, Robin! To the Batmobile!
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Why does an orphans’ calendar only have 363 days?
There are no Father’s or Mother’s Days on their calendar.
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Every bag of chips is family-sized if you are an orphan.
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What’s an orphan’s favourite movie character?
Harry Potter.
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I don’t see how me exercising will stop children from losing their parents.
But people keep telling me it helps end orphans.
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Guys, we should stop making jokes about orphans, their parents will get mad. Oh….Wait…Continue.
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What do you call a orphans family reunion?
Me time.
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What do you call an orphan who grows up to become a priest?
Father Les.
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Girl: come over orphan: I can’t Girl: my parents aren’t home 😉 orphan: oh cool something we have in common
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Why are orphans so fond of tennis?
It’s the only place they can get love.
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Why didn’t the duck family take in the orphaned cygnet?
‘Swan more mouth to feed.
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Why do orphans like to play tennis?
Because the ball usually comes back.
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what’s the difference between puppies and orphans
the puppies actually get adopted
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Why can’t orphans do homework?
They don’t have a home to do it at.
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Why do orphans become criminals?
To know what it’s like to be Wanted.
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What did the underage poker player say to the elder?
“Will you raise me?”
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What do orphans get at Christmas?
Lonely.
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What do an Alzheimer’s patient and an orphan have in common?
Both don’t know who their parents are.
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I have an orphan joke, but it needs parental guidance.
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So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.
My dad starts laughing at me.
Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”
Me: “Why dad?”
Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”
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Why don’t orphans work as computer repair technicians?
Because they can’t find the motherboard
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What is an orphan’s least favorite song?
We are Family.
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How do you make an orphan’s hand bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come back.
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What’s an orphan’s least favorite store?
Home Depot.
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An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.
I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”
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Why can orphans travel around so much?
They never get homesick
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What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music?
House.
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What is the other word for an orphan?
Paren’t.
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There’s going to be a wild party at the orphanage tonight. The parents aren’t home.
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Where did the orphans go after the orphanage blew up?
Everywhere.
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Why do orphans like getting kidnapped Because someone actually wants them
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Where do orphan chickens end up?
Foster Farms
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What is the safest place to crack yo mama jokes?
Orphanage.
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Why don’t orphans understand Dad jokes?
Because they don’t have Dads.
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Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
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What caused the orphaned girl to cry during sex?
Because his boyfriend asked, “who’s your daddy?”
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Is it possible for orphans to go on an away trip?
No because they already are on one.
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What’s the only other advantage of being an orphan?
The teacher can’t give you homework.
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My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?
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What do you call an orphans family tree
A stump
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What do you call a fish with no parents?
An orfin
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What did Santa give the mute, blind, quadriplegic orphan at Christmas?
Chlamydia.
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I despise it when a couple has a minor quarrel and the girlfriend updates her Facebook status to ‘single.’
I mean, I fight with my parents all the time, but I never update my status to ‘orphan.’
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Do you know why it’s called an orphanage?
Because they couldn’t call it an orphan home.
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Why did the orphan become a prostitute
They wanted someone to call daddy
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Why don’t orphans get offended by these jokes?
They don’t hit home.
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Why can’t orphans do homework?
They don’t have a home to do it at.
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Why is an empty champagne bottle like an orphan?
Because it has lost its pops.
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What is an orphans family portrait called?
A self portrait
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What’s the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
Pikachu, I choose you.
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Which Spiderman movie does an orphan like?
Spider-Man: Homecoming.
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What’s the only advantage of being an orphan?
Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
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What did the catholic priest say to the other catholic priest as they entered the orphanage?
Let’s us prey.
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Me: Dad, how can one marry an entire family?
Dad: Marry an orphan, kid.
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How does E.T have an advantage over orphans A. E.T can actually phone home
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Why can’t an orphan get suspended or expelled from school Because they need to contact parents
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Orphan kid starts crying after seeing test results
Teacher: Don’t worry your parents won’t say a thing.
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Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me? Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.
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Why shouldn’t you discuss family problems with orphans?
They wouldn’t understand.
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What’s big, bounces, and makes little kids cry?
My donation check to the orphanage.
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What do an orphan’s parents have in common with Nemo?
They all cannot be found.
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I recently became the coach of an orphanage baseball team
Because I hate dealing with parents.
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When is the best time to hit an orphan?
When their parents aren’t looking.
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What did the atheist orphan say after receiving the Oscars?
II have no one but myself to thank.
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Dark Humor Jokes
Why was the orphan sad?
Because he had no one to play with.
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Why was the math book unhappy?
Because it had too many problems, and no one to solve them.
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Why did the orphan go to the movies by himself?
Because he had no one to go with.
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Why was the orphan cold at night?
Because he had no one to snuggle with.
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Why did the orphan go to the library?
Because he had no one to read to him.
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Why was the orphan feeling lonely?
Because he had no one to share his toys with.
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Why was the orphan sad at the beach?
Because he had no one to build sandcastles with.
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Why did the orphan go to the park alone?
Because he had no one to play with.
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Why did the orphan start a band?
Because he had no one to play in it.
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Why was the orphan sad at the carnival?
Because he had no one to go on the rides with.
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Why was the orphan sad at the zoo?
Because he had no one to look at the animals with.
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Why did the orphan go to the fair by himself?
Because he had no one to go with.
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Why was the orphan sad at the museum?
Because he had no one to look at the exhibits with.
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Why was the orphan sad at the aquarium?
Because he had no one to watch the fish with.
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Why did the orphan go to the circus alone?
Because he had no one to go with.
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Why was the orphan sad at the amusement park?
Because he had no one to go on the rides with.
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Why did the orphan go to the theme park alone?
Because he had no one to go with.
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Why was the orphan sad at the water park?
Because he had no one to splash around with.
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Why did the orphan go to the carnival by himself?
Because he had no one to go with.
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Why was the orphan sad at the state fair?
Because he had no one to eat fried food with.
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