Are you a math teacher because you got me harder than trigonometry.
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I hear you’re good at algebra…..Will you replace my eX without asking Y?
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Hey, baby want to Squeeze my Theorem while I poly your nomial?
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I’m like pi baby, I’m really long and I go on forever.
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You and I would add up better than a Riemann sum.
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Hey girl. I wish I were a second derivative, so I could investigate your concavities.
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I wish I was your calculus homework, because then I’d be hard and you’d be doing me on your desk.
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Archimedes cried out “eureka” and ran around naked and filled with joy when he discovered that the volume of a solid can be determined by how much it displaces. Spend more time with me and you will do the same.
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You must be an asymptote, because I just find myself getting closer and closer to you.
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Msn: Do you like math?
Girl: No.
Man: Me neither…In fact, the only number I care about is yours.
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You must be multiplying out my brackets because you’re making me expand.
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You’re as sweet at 3.14.
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By looking at you I can tell you’re 36-25-36, which by the way are all perfect squares.
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You fascinate me more than the fundamental theorem of calculus.
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I want to have you on my mathemattress.
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Maybe later we can go over to my place and titrate until you reach your end-point..
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My ex-girlfriend is like the square root of -1,…. she’s imaginary.
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Dirty Math Pickup Lines
Baby, you’re body is like a hyperbola
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Mathematicians do it best. See below for proof.
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Are you the square root of 2? Because I feel irrational when I’m around you
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I heard you like math, so what’s the sum of U+Me
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Being with you is like switching to polar coordinates: complex and imaginary things now have a magnitude and direction.
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Baby, I wish I were a section of your tangent bundle, so I could lie along your manifold.
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Baby you must be a modulus sign, ‘cos whenever you wrap your arms round me i always feel positive!
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Once you go Asian, you never miss an equation.
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We’ve been differentiating for too long, lets sum it up and integrate
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Can you send some quadrick pics?
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You and I add up better than a Riemann sum
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I’m not being obtuse, you are being acute girl
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“I wish I was your differential because then I’d be touching all your curves.”
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I am not very good at algebra, but I do know that you and I make 69.
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Your beauty defies real and complex analysis.
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Why don’t we use some Fourier analysis on our relationship and reduce to a series of simple periodic functions.
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Your hotness is the only reason we can’t reach absolute zero.
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Want to couple our equations tonight?
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I use my rod of infinite length for more than just simplifying calculations…
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“Hey, baby want to squeeze my Theorem while I poly your nomial?”
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My love for you is like pi, it’s never-ending.
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You may be out of range, yet I would love to show you my domain.
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Let’s make our slopes zero (slope of zero means horizontal => bed)
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Are you a 30 degree angle? Because you’re acute-y.
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I do believe I am your reciprocal; we will be one when we multiply.
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I feel a great deal of calculust towards you.
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If I’m the Riemann zeta function, you must be s=1.
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You must be the square root of -1 because you can’t be real.
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Like a quantum computation, our paths are entangled.
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I’d like to be your derivative… So I could be tangent to those curves.
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If I went binary, you would be the 1 for me.
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Are you a bank loan? Because you have all my interest.
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I’m sine and you’re cosine, wanna make like a tangent?
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Can I plug my solution into your equation?
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You + Me = The number of sides in a Mobius Strip
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The derivative of my love for you is 0, because my love for you is constant.
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You must be sin squared, because I’m cosin squared and together we equal one.
____________________
In Euclidean geometry two parallel lines never touch, let’s go back to my place and study some non-Euclidean geometry.
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Let ‘u’ and ‘i’ be irrational integers such that a real non-monotonic relationship exists for all T = {0 … infinity}
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How about you come to my place tonight, so I can show you the growth of my natural log
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Girl, I’d like to instantiate your objects and access their member variables.
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How about I perform a sort on your variables, and you can analyse my performance?
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Want to see my tangenitals?
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If I were sin2x and you were cos2x , together we’d be one.
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The volume of a generalized cylinder has been known for thousands of years, but you won’t know the volume of mine until tonight.
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I’d like to instantiate your objects, and access their member variables
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I’m like pi baby, I’m really long and I go on forever.
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If four plus four equals eight, ….then me plus you equals fate.
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I like fractions, do you want to do some with me?
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I heard your good at math… Cause your legs are always divided.
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I am like a numerator because I like to be on top. You have a fine body.
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What do math and my dick have in common?…They’re both hard for you
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Are you a Mathlete?
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Are you a 45 degree angle, Because your perfect.
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I’d like to be your math tutor for the night: add a bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply!
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I wish you were x2 and I was x3/3 so I could be the area under your curve…
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Why don’t you be the numerator and I be the denominator and both of us reduce to simplest form?
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Can I plug my solution into your equation?
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Come back with me and take off your algebra.
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Girl your like a student and I am like a math book, you solve all my problems.
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I’m sine, you are cosine, let’s make a tangent.
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Huygens’ favorite curves were cycloids, but my favorite curves are yours.
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You may be out of range, yet I would love to show you my domain.
____________________
How can I know so many hundreds of digits of pi and not the digits of your phone number?
____________________
The volume of a generalized cylinder has been known for thousands of years, but you won’t know the volume of mine until tonight.
____________________
I’m good at math… Let’s add a bed, subtract our clothes sweetheart, divide your legs, and multiply!
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Are you a square number, because my love for you is exponential!
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My lust for you is like a concave up function because it is always increasing.
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Dirty Math Jokes for Adults
Spend more time with me and you will do the same.
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If four plus four equals eight, ….then me plus you equals fate darling.
____________________
You are one well-defined function.
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Girl my love for you goes on like the number pi
____________________
I don’t like my current girlfriend honey. Mind if I do a you-substitution?
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Hey baby I’m an engineer. I can mend your broken heart
____________________
You’re sweeter than pi precious.
____________________
Is that an asymptote in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
____________________
I wish I was your calculus homework babe, because then I’d be hard and you’d be doing me on your desk.
____________________
Why can’t love be a one to one function? Then our relationship could be injective.
____________________
How can I know so many hundreds of digits of pi and not the 7 digits of your phone number honey?
____________________
Bertrand Russell was a renowned mathematician, philosopher and advocate for sexual liberation. How about we cut math and philosophy class and focus on the rest of Russell’s life.
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You and I darling add up better than a riemann sum.
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The law of contrapositives says that we should use a condom.
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If I were a function darling you would be my asymptote – I always tend towards you.
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I not good at algebra but you and I together make 69!!!
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I wish I was your problem set babe, because then I’d be really hard, and you’d be doing me on the desk.
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I would really like to bisect your angle.
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My lust for you is a monotonically increasing unbounded function
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I can figure out the square root of any number in less than 10 seconds. What? You don’t believe me? Well, then, let’s try it with your phone number.
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Are you a math teacher precious because you got me harder than trigonometry?
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Is your mother a mathematician? Because you have nice ratios.
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My lust is like an exponential curve. It’s unbounded
____________________
Meeting you is like a switch to polar coordinates: complex and imaginary things are given a magnitude and a direction.
____________________
Do you need math help?
____________________
If you don’t want to go all the way, you can still partially derive me.
____________________
I heard you’re good at algebra babe! Could you replace my X without asking Y?
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Baby, let me find your nth term Hey baby, can i see what’s under your radical?
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You are the solution to my homogeneous system of linear equations darling.
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If I were an integral, I’d fill you up.
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Let me integrate our curves so that I can increase our volume baby.
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I wish I were your second derivative so I could fill your concavities.
____________________
You must be the square root of two baby because I feel irrational around you.
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Baby, you’re a 9.999999999…but you’d be a 10 if you were with me.
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Are you a 90 degree angle? Because you are looking right!
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What’s your sine? The sine^(-1) of you must be pi/2 cause you’re the one
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Can I explore your mean value?
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You have nicer legs than an isosceles right triangle.
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Hey, honey! Want to Squeeze my Theorem while I poly your nominal?
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If I was sin^2 theta and you were cos^2 theta together we would be 1
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I’ll take you to your limit sweetheart if you show me your end behavior.
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If I move my lips half the distance to yours… and then half again… and again… would they ever meet? No? Well in this specific case i am going to disprove your assumption.
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Math Jokes
I need a little help with my Calculus babe, can you integrate my natural log?
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Our love is like dividing by zero…. you cannot define it
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My lust for you is like the derivative of a concave up function because it is always increasing. We’re going to assume this concave up function resembles x^2 baby so that slopes is actually increasing.
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Baby let me be your integral so I can be the space under your curves
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You fascinate me darling more than the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus.
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Hey baby, what’s your tanx cosx? I less than three you….. (i < 3 you) I heard you’re sin because you’re always on top when we make tangent
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I don’t know if you’re in my range honey, but I’d sure like to take you back to my domain.
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Excuse me, ma’am, but can I get your seven significant digits?
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My friends told me that I should ask you out baby because you can’t differentiate.
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I’m overheating because you’re stuck in my head like an infinite loop.
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Are you a 45 degree angle? Because you’re acute-y.
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I’ll be the one over your cosx an baby, we can have secx!
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Hey precious…nice asymptote.
____________________
I’m relativistic: the faster I go, the longer I last.
____________________
I’d like to plug my solution darling into your equation.
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B equals T x N. I think you and I should study the T and N planes in depth T and N = osculating plane, which literally means the ‘kissing’ plane.
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If I’m sine and you’re cosine sweetheart, want to make like a tangent?
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At absolute zero, you would still move me.
____________________
I’d like to instantiate your objects darling, and access their member variables
____________________
Baby if you were a 6 I would want to be your (reflection about the x-axis + then reflection about the y-axis) –>9 Yo baby, you want to see me solve a quadratic?
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My ex-girlfriend baby is like the square root of -1,…. She’s imaginary.
____________________
Hey! Baby can I cal-cu-la-tor (call you later)
____________________
If you were a graphics calculator sweetheart, I’d look at your curves all day long!
____________________
On a scale of 1-10, you’re a solid e to the power of pi
____________________
Problems darling!
____________________
I think that convex butts are ALWAYS better than concave butts
____________________
If I were sin2x darling and you were cos2x , together we’d be ONE!
____________________
You look toned I wish I was your secant line so I could touch you in at least two places! Baby ill be your asymptotes so i can shape your curves…
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Want to expand my polynomial darling?
____________________
Would you like to see the exponential growth of my natural log?
____________________
You’ve got more curves baby than a triple integral.
____________________
If I was your math homework, I’ll make it hard and you will be doing me on the table.
____________________
I’ve been secant you for a long time sweetheart.
____________________
If you were a graphics calculator, I’d look at your curves all day long!
____________________
I heard you like math babe, so what’s the sum of U+Me
____________________
Baby I just drew a pic of you on my ti83 but ur sooo hot my screen melted
____________________
I wish I was your second derivative babe so I could investigate your concavities.
____________________
The way the light reflects off the angles of your head is extremely enchanting.
____________________
My lust for you is like y=2^x… Exponentially growing.
____________________
I don’t know if you’re in my range, but I’d sure like to take you home to my domain.
____________________
My lust for you is like a fractal – it goes on forever.
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I wish u were the Pythagorean Theorem so I can insert my hypotenuse into your legs.
____________________
I’m like pi sweetheart, I’m really long and I go on forever.
____________________
Since distance equals velocity times time, let’s let velocity or time approach infinity, because I want to go all the way with you.
____________________
I hope you know set theory babe because I want to intersect and union you.
____________________
Your body has the nicest arc length I’ve ever seen.
____________________
How about I perform a sort on your variables honey, and you can analyze my performance?
____________________
I hope you know set theory because I want to intersect you and union you.
____________________
I wish I was your derivative babe so I could lie tangent to your curves.
____________________
My love for you is like a concave function’s positive first derivative, because it’s always increasing.
____________________
Your beauty cannot be spanned by a finite basis of vectors baby.
____________________
Why don’t we measure the coefficient of static friction between me and you?
____________________
My lust for you is like pi… Never ending.
____________________
In Euclidean geometry two parallel lines never touch … let’s go back to my place and study some non-Euclidean geometry.
____________________
You and I darling would add up better than a Riemann sum.
____________________
My vector has a really large magnitude. Would you care to normalize it?
____________________
Meeting you is like making a switch to polar coordinates baby: complex and imaginary things are given a magnitude and a direction.
____________________
You and I must have the same natural frequency, because we resonate together. I 1-sin(theta) you
____________________
Our lust is like dividing by zero… You cannot define it.
____________________
The surface of my cylinder is not a compact metric space.
____________________
If you were sin^2x sweetheart and I was cos^2x, then together we’d make one.
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My love for you is like the slope of a concave up function because it’s always increasing.
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Your name is Leslie? Look baby, I can spell your name on my calculator!
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Can I plug my solution into your equation?
____________________
I’m not being obtuse, but you’re acute girl.
____________________
I’ve been secant you for a long time Instead of being the derivative, I’d much rather be the secant so i can touch u not only once, but twice.
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I’ll take you to the limit sweetheart as X approaches infinity.
____________________
I think if you and i had Hex we’d be a perfect OA
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Let’s take each other baby to the limit to see if we converge.
____________________
The volume of a general cylinder was known for thousands of years, but you won I wish I were a predicate so I could be the direct object of your affection.
____________________
Are you a math teacher honey? Because you got me harder than calculus.
____________________
Let’s make love like pi; irrational and never ending.
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